January 2008 Meredith Dinsdale - January 2008

Living the Dream...or Just Living?

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I recently was browsing mission trips and the world race website as I often do when my life feels boring and was thunderstruck by one question.

Are you living the life you've always dreamed of?

It was the catch phrase for the World Race which I actually found through a non-affiliated website. Huh. Am I? Am I living out the dream God put in my heart?

My first thought was, "Hey! I already did the world race and I'm STILL not living the life I dreamed of." Then I thought, "what the hell am I doing then?"

2008 was one incredibly hard and wonderfully victorious year. There are relationships that formed there that leave me in longing on my lonely days. "Where is everybody? Why can't anyone live in WA near me?" Then there are the relationships that never quite mended that I find myself thinking of with regret and tempered confusion. "Why couldn't we get past that point? Why did I often feel like an outsider?"

I clicked on the link and went to the WR home page where I browsed the last 100 blogs. There was an update on the October 2009 team that I found myself staring at the team photo. Which person on that team looks like how I felt? Are there other people who know that they know that they know they are supposed to go on this trip and yet will never feel fully connected?

I remember taking our group photos and always feeling... huge. Not like fat or anything, but like I was expanding and I didn't know how to fit in. It is a weird feeling I'll tell you that much.

When I think about how I felt during the WR and now post-WR, during the hard times, I feel a sense of urgency rise up in me for the future squads. How can I find that person who, like me, craves community so deeply that they never seem to arrive?

Michael Hindes once said to me, "It's interesting isn't it? The things we want the very most are the things we have the most walls built up against."

Continued in next blog.

I know it's been a while since I've posted anything, so thank you to those of you still interested in reading blogs from me!

Part 2: Living the Dream...or Just Living?

Sat, 31 Oct 2009 00:00:00 GMT

As I sit here on Halloween still debating about going out into town, I realize how much I have changed.

I still more than ever want community: lots of friends, good times, social life, and happy hours. Yet a stillness has come over my life where I want meaning not just good times. I have made many memories; now I want a community and plans for the future not just tonight.

One where I don't have to wonder if I'll be invited.

Where I don't have to ask and ask to make plans with someone.

A community where I am valued just as I value others and we choose one another.

October 2009 team!

I want that thing I've been hearing about, first from Michael Hindes, then Ted Hanson, then Andrew Shearman and the other R.I.M. men: covenant relationships.

(if you wanna know who these men are, visit the RIM website here)

I think living the dream comes from sharing the dream God has given each of us. Seth Barnes could not be living his dream of seeing my generation rising up if he had not shared it to help bring it about. Microsoft man Bill Gates could not be where he is today if he had not shared his dream of having a computer in every home. And Mother Theresa had a vision no one would die alone and unloved. For each the dream had to be shared before it could grow. There was only a dream before there was The World Race; just as there was only a vision before there was Microsoft.

So where am I? What could I be sharing right now? And who might I be sharing it with?

At a recent conference at my church Andrew Shearman implored us to "LIVE your life."

It sounds so simple.

Yet I will spend more time worrying about the right thing sometimes than ever actually doing anything. And just imagine God in those times. Does He get antsy? Is He sitting on the edge of His God-sized seat with anticipation waiting for me to make up my mind to LIVE.

To decide. To move. To choose. To speak. To sing.

Man, how I want to live my life.

And the overwhelming thing is: it's my choice.

What am I choosing? Who will I be in covenant with to help me with my dreams as I help with theirs?

(Bill Gates & Paul Allen) (Seth & his daughter)

Apache Nation: Unexpected Cultural Differences

Fri, 5 Jun 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I recently returned from a mission trip to the Apache Nation reservation in Globe, AZ. I went with 6 others to spend the week working to support an Apache man, James, and his wife, Esther, who are former members of the church/school I attend here in Bellingham, WA. The Apache have become very untrusting of outsiders over time, so much of what our church does is to simply be a presence on and around the reservation. To let the people there see constant visitors from Abundant Life Church in WA. It was an interesting trip because it really was not about me, Meredith, visiting them; it was about members of our community joining in what their community is doing.

Here are some of the homes on the reservation. I was not expecting this, but many of the Apache have become entrenched over generations in a poverty mindset. The bleakness of the landscape only seemed to mimic the hearts of many of the people.

As I mentioned, the Apache have become wary of outsiders and even of each other. I suppose in my mind I figured that they would still live the way I have been taught they used to live: harmonious, tribe-reliant, and tribe-sufficient. Today, though, after years of oppression, they live very segragated lives. According to James, there is not much interaction between different family groups or even neighbors.

One thing I enjoyed was that they are a story telling people group. In this picture Esther was sharing the story of how she and James met. This scene was often experienced because you had to take a seat whenever you asked anyone a question. They would weave a whole story of background details, thoughts, feelings, even a description of what they weather or day was like.

Another reason I really enjoyed this is that I felt more listened to than I have in a long time. When an Apache is telling a story, no one says much until the very very end (even though it may seem like they are done about 5 times, trust me, they aren't). And they extend this same listening discipline to everyone. When they asked me a question I felt like I could say everything that I wanted to say. Often when talking, even with my teammates, I feel (and I'm sure most know what I mean) like I have to get to the point and hurry up because someone is waiting for their split second to jump in with two cents. We like to talk quick and get to the point. That is Not how Apache function. There is a freedom in conversation to speak one's piece and be heard.

Below is Tracy, our fearless leader; Me and Laurina.

One awesome event was that we were invited to a little girl's birthday party. What an honor it was to be invited in to a family gathering. Tracy has been coming every year to AZ and the people have truly come to know and appreciate him. We were very excited to be invited to partake in a family event as outsiders (white ones in particular) are not often invited.

This is Brother McCay. He had an intense testimony of being with the Lord and also years spent wandering. He had to have part of his leg removed because of nerve damage due to diabetes. Diabetes has a huge presence on the reservation, even in the youth. Brother McCay is a quiet man who came each night to the tent revival we were attending at Seven Mile.

Here is a picture of the tent where the revival took place nightly. This was the most interesting cultural experience. Each night they would blast at bleeding-from-the-ears volume (don't worry Mom, I wore ear plugs!) to draw in the neighbors. The music was deafening but it worked. Folks would be driving down the road and literally stop and reverse to pull into the parking lot. Here is where it got interesting. After they parked in the lot, many people would not get out of their cars. Instead, they rolled their windows down and simply listened from their vehicles. The preaching was also deafening but they could hear it in the cars because when the pastor said something they agreed with they would flash their lights and tap their horns! The Pastor each night would constantly extend invitations for them to come under the tent, and some would, but the cool part was that even thought most of them would stay in their cars, people still got saved and would come out to receive prayer!!

This is Mount Baker from the plane. These are the San Juan Islands off the coast of WA.

This was a surprisingly cross-cultural experience but one that I would highly recommend seeing as how the history of Native Americans is incredibly dense and so many people living on reservations have lost a lot of hope for the future. They simply live on the reservation, get their utilities free, land free, and a check every month. There is a lack of purpose. The awesome part is that many of them are hungry for hope and I love that i know the God of hope. Jer 29:11-12 says, "For I know the thoughts I think towards you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you." When the pastors at the tent preached hope and restoration, the people responded. It was beautiful to see people tapping in to the God of hope, and peace, and a future. God, bless the Apache with the knowledge of who You are.

Photo Gallery 2: Northern Peru (Amazon River)

Sun, 17 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT

If you're just tuning in, I am pleased to present these photos as part of the recap tour to my supporters. Please enjoy this installment of Iquitos and Nauta (where we lived on a boat on the Amazon for two weeks).

Here's Caroline. She is such an awesome servant and truly loved in each place we went to. Notice the street and houses. On rainy days I usually opted to simply not wear shoes. When it is so muddy all they do is get dirty and they are much harder to wash off than my bare feet.

The river was a busy thoroughfare with people using both motorized canoes as well as still using handmade paddles. Also, there were many traveling islands that floated by. As I'm sure my squadmates well remember. We also saw the allusive pink dolphins which were actually pretty creepy!

This is the view off the back off the boat. Our neighbors loved to jump in and float down the river past us before scrambling up the bank, running back, and jumping in again. Notice the roofing.

Here are some of the creatures I'd never seen before. This boy told me he had just found this young anaconda in the jungle. I don't even know what I'm holding??? We also saw a young capybara, the largest rodent in the world. And even the cutest little baby sloth! I never did get a copy of that photo though. The little guy was hanging onto a bunch of bananas a man had harvested from the jungle.

Here is our boat the Good Samaritan (El Buen Samaritano) docked at the headwaters of the Amazon when we went on a day trip. The water was deep enough here that we jumped off the roof of the boat. Good times were had by all!

Tune in next time for the Iquitos photos!

Love, Meredith

Photo Gallery 1.5: Southern Peru

Mon, 11 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I knew I had more photos from Peru that were never posted, so here is Southern Peru 1.5. Enjoy!

We brushed our teeth with bottled water. Some people found out the hard way that this was necessary and had the runs for the first week or two!

The big black tub on the left side kept our shower water. It was black so the water got warm during the day. The yellow bucket Robbie is using was for washing hands, flushing toilets, face washing, showers... At some point the big black container was cleaned out only to discover little worms lived in it. (!) They weren't kidding about closing your mouth when you shower.

Here's my teammate Matt. He had an awesome kids/sports ministry. I also wanted to include this picture to tell you to notice the background. Tarp walls, stick supports, the dog on the ground (probably unowned and COVERED with fleas). These people used to live in homes, real ones, that were demolished by the earthquake/ensuing flood.

Here's Kelton in the act of eating by headlamp. A WR custom. We did this in at least 4 countries that I can think of. I can't remeber what the yellow stuff, most likely potatoes, is that he's eating, but the pink was this kind of cabbage salad. It was always a treat when they made us jello. Though it was usually mostly frozen and the parts that weren't frozen were still liquid--none-the-less it was surprisingly enjoyable.

This is one of my favorite pictures taken all year. Rachel Hunt took this while we were lost looking for Canchamana.

Tune in next time for the Amazon jungle.

Photo Gallery 1: Southern Peru

Mon, 4 May 2009 00:00:00 GMT

I hope you enjoy these photos. I plan to share many more on upcoming blogs. I simply want to honor you all who followed my journey last year and since I can't sit down with all of you (!) I wanted you to see some of what I saw.

Enjoy!

With Love,

Meredith

This wall constituted our only shade until a few weeks in when we set up a huge tent.

Doing laundry

Watching the Super Bowl in Peru! (Singing the national anthem)

So that was Chincha Peru is the smallest sense. We lived in our tents--5 weeks in a flea infested desert. Took bucket showers, hand washed clothes, lead children's camps, befriended the locals, paid about 27 cents for a soda or ice-cream, spent afternoons in homes made with sticks and tarp roofing, brought in an exterminator, worshipped loudly, cried, had extreme initiation into community, and loved it all.

Look for Photo Gallery 2: Northern Peru Coming Soon!

School of Eagles

Sun, 1 Mar 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Well, a few months have gone by and I wanted to share an update on what I'm doing post-race. I have moved to Bellingham, WA to attend a school taught by Pastor/Prophet Ted Hanson and guests. It is called the School of Eagles and runs out of Ted's church.

So, I went from adventure to adventure always leaving behind the things I have come to know, but am excited when looking forward. So far I have been here for two weeks and already I have realized some growth has happened.

Bellingham, WA

The Lord has truly been growing me in the gift of prophecy beginning last year on the race and now here in Bellingham. I am still astounded daily by just how much the Lord is trying to speak with us. Pastor Ted describes prophecy this way (or at least this way in MY own words!):

In life there is a spectrum of light. Obviously there are light waves reaching our eyes every moment. Outside of what we can see, there is a continuation on the spectrum into the waves that we cannot see. On one end UVA and UVB, and on the other end infra-red, radio waves, and microwaves. (If we could see all the stuff bouncing off us and around us at any given time it would probably make us more crazy than we already are.) So, when we prophesy it's like we are tuning in to the frequency of God's voice.

The Bible reads that God's thoughts for us are more numerable than the sands.(Psalms 139:18) Did you get that? He didn't say the sand on the seashore or the desert or the rivers. His thoughts outnumber THE sand. I am 26 years old, on my 27th birthday I will have been alive for 9,855 days. So, right now in my life we're looking at around 9,700 thoughts. But I'm sure God thinks about us more than once per day, right?

So, think about a cubic foot of sand. Then think about counting each grain... and that's just ONE cubic foot of all the sand in the whole world. When we tune in to God's frequency we realize that He is thinking about us, each of us, constantly and continuously.

Prophecy is the act of tuning in to God's frequency for others to encourage and provide direction, though we must weigh the words given to us with the Holy Spirit, God's voice is present and available to us.

Here is a definition of prophecy: God speaks, life happens.

School is four months long and involves a mission trip to an American Indian reservation. I'm looking forward to all of it!

Sunday Night Service

10 Reasons To Go On The World Race

Tue, 13 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Maybe you're sitting behind the computer screen contemplating reasons why you should go on the World Race. Here are ten reasons for you:

1. You learn who you are. Going on the World Race introduces you to the person that God wants you to be. You won't necessarily be the Jack Bauer or Indiana Jones of missionaries, but you'll definitely learn what the heart of God is and how He wants to use that to show you who you need to be in the Kingdom. And let's face it - you're more than just another employee slaving away in a cubicle, or a student going blindly into the real world' after college.

2. You get to see the world. Surely somewhere within you there's a desire to see the world. Most people think it's only a fantasy or a fairytale, but let's be honest, with God anything is possible. The World Race takes you to over ten different countries across four different continents... and God pays the bill, not you. Plus you can tell everyone you've been to Africa.

3. You can't be labeled a boring Christian. Most people think that Christianity is kind of a drudge and there's propaganda everywhere claiming that. Well, thankfully, you don't have to be a boring Christian. Twenty-four hour bus rides through the African bush is anything but boring, and feeding orphans and widows is a lot more adventurous than people give it credit for. But there's only one way to find out.

4. You will change the world. This isn't meant as a joke - you really will change the world. For each life you touch and empower with the love of God, they in turn will touch a life. It's just like the pay-it-forward principle, only with Jesus and love. It's pretty cool. This gets engrained into your everyday life when you go on the World Race. Maybe along the way you'll change the life that's going to find the cure for AIDS.

5. You learn to hear God's voice. Seriously, God still talks. There are a lot of rumors going on out there that He has a British accent and that He even talks in Spanish. Moses and Jesus weren't the only ones who had an in' with God; you do too. Going on the World Race perfects your ear for His voice

6. You get to learn the things you didn't learn in Sunday school. What if, hypothetically speaking, they didn't teach you something in Sunday school? Would you know what is? Because on the World Race, they know what you didn't learn... and they're willing to teach it to you.

7. You'll raise the dead. You really will raise the dead... literally and figuratively. There haven't been any reported cases of World Racers raising the literally dead yet, but maybe you will be our first. It's been prophesied... are you it?

8. Learn about the Matrix. Maybe the Wachowski brothers were onto something when they created that infamous movie back in the late 90's. What if you really are living in a reality that isn't really reality? If you've ever wondered if there's something behind everything you see, you should check out the World Race - swallow the red pill and see how far the rabbit hole goes.

9. You learn what community really is. Relationships can only go so far with people when you're sharing just a dorm room for nine months. Community runs a lot deeper than a dorm room. Living life with a group of people united in purpose and Truth changes things - like the world. Explore the heart of Acts community and see it come to life through relationships that you'll maintain even after the World Race.

10. Pursue the dream God's planted in you. Sometimes there are dreams we have in life that get crushed by your typical 9-5 obligations. The World Race helps awaken your wildest dreams and plants a picture in how they can fit into the Kingdom. Do what you love doing while seeing God's Kingdom come to life through your life.

So what's it going to be? You're sitting on the edge of something great and it's as easy as applying. This is more than a mission trip. Go on the World Race and change your life and others'. There's something more out there... are you willing to look for it?

Apply here.

Bungee Jumping!

Fri, 2 Jan 2009 00:00:00 GMT

Here is a quick breakdown of what my year looked like (it's amazing what I was keeping track of!):

Nights I slept in a...

car: 2 (once on a bridge when our truck broke down in the middle of Mozambique)

bus: 3 (once was with the same people as in the truck only our bus broke down in Mozambique)

plane: 5 Thank you AIM staff for saving money and consistently flying us red-eye around the world

HOT showers: 63/ 327 days (these are something you don't forget!)

Times I packed my bag: 42

Nights I slept in a bed WITH sheets: 130/327

Nights I slept somewhere other than a bed with sheets: 193/327

Countries I visited: 14 (15 if you let me count New Jersey when I was sick 'cause I'd never been there before!)

Modes of transportation used: 14

Number of Wonders of World I saw: 3 (4 if you let me count the Nasca Lines in Peru)

Here are some things you missed:

The Taj Mahal

This man and his son followed me around for like an hour wanting to take a pic with me.

You'd think he would've at least smiled!

Victoria Falls

I wrote another blog about this called Mosioa Tunya (The Smoke That Thunders)

read it: http://meredithdinsdale.theworldrace.org/?filename=open-road-trip-part-5mosioa-tunya-the-smoke-that-thunders

Angkor Wat

Me Bungee jumping off the bridge between Zambia and Zimbabwe over

the Zambezi river at Victoria Falls

3... 2... 1... BUNGEE

Here is where I jumped from!

We decided that the Holy Spirit MUST be a thrill seeker because everyone I talked to at the jump platform was also a missionary! Ha!

Hope you enjoyed this!

Making Agreements With the Devil

Wed, 31 Dec 2008 00:00:00 GMT

"You are so angry" he whispers.

"Bah! I am SO angry!" I jerk about and throw the words from my mouth.

"You're not pretty." he whispers.

"Man, I look terrible today." I drop my face as these words spill over my lips.

"You are a jerk." He whispers.

"I am SUCH a jerk!" I yell wildly wishing things were different.

But they are different.

Those were just a few examples of agreements I used to make with the devil. I think one of the most important things I learned this year is how to consciously and continuously identify the devil's voice. So often I would say something about myself (especially the jerk comment) and not even think about where that comes from.

This is the important part! I KNOW that God would never say anything to bring me down. I mean, come on, we are his children. And as God, he knows how to love perfectly and would never do anything to harm us. As members of Creation, God looks at us and says "You are looking good." or even better, "hey, how you doin'?" He knew what I would look like and be like by today in my life, it's not as if I can surprise him, so everything that counters that very point by saying...

"You're not good enough." (not God's voice)

"You're not really loved." (Not God's voice!)

"Boy, you sure screwed that up." (NOT God's voice!!)

...is, as you may have noticed, NOT God's voice. And every time I say something that sounds like any of that stuff, what I'm really doing, and this is huge cause I just now learned it, is making agreements with the devil! WHY in the h-e-double-hockey-sticks would I want to do that?!

I also realized that the devil is doing this a lot. Once I really started paying attention to my thoughts, I realized there was actually a battle going on for them. The good part is, as Andrew Shearman says, "we win this thing." And realizing the lie is only the beginning. The next part is to speak the truth to it. Even if I don't feel like it may be true at that moment, it is so important to say the opposite: I AM loved, I AM beautiful, I AM honest, I AM patient, I AM..... whatever it needs to be.

I think I used to think that satan was just a litle defeated liar but now I realize satan is a little defeated liar who is Constantly lying to me! And it is time to take charge. We win this thing. And I am ready to charge out on the offense. I've seen the battle plays. I've experienced satan's tactics. And now I am ready to charge in, guns blazing, and take the victory. I have idly sat listening to the broken record that is satan for long enough. Those same things should not, cannot, and ultimately do not, have any hold on me.

"You broke those strongholds over me

Now here I stand, so hear me sing

'Bout how the world lost it's hold on me

For You daily have set me free!"

-From "Set Me Free"

The End is Near!

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Well, I'm in Thailand right now on an island called Koh Samet for final debrief. Wouldn't it be nice if after 11months on this crazy journey I had all the answers to my future? Unfortunately, this is not the case. Earlier this morning Michael Hindes asked me, "Tell me something you learned this year."

As eloquently as I could, I replied, "Uhhhhhhh."

"Okay, well tell me the most important thing you learned this year."

Without needing time to consider I answered, "To love freely."

And that is the truth. I may know nothing about my future, but I know that what I learned this year has forever affected how I will respond to it. I have written many blogs on the subject of loving freely and I see how my life has changed through the process of learning and applying this lesson.

Jesus loved freely and extended grace first. Something Michael said to me a few months ago was to "lead with love." He said that so often we lead with answer, especially those of us (he and I included) who tend to live in a black and white world, when what we need to do is lead with love.

After I leave the Thailand I'm staying in California for 5 days before heading home to be with my family for Thanksgiving. I have much to think on and plan on spending some time alone away from everything to ponder and pray about what the next step in bringing the kingdom is for me.

I could use all the prayer I can get because I know that going home will be a whole new culture shock and having no answers will leave me vulnerable to a lot of confusion. But I know that the Lord is not a God of confusion and so I ask you to pray with me for guidance and wisdom as I make yet another transition.

Thank you for all your support this year, and don't worry, I plan to continue writing blogs after I'm home about how things are going. Also I have lots of picutres to share with you all from this year that never made it onto a blog.

Thailand Snack Bag

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT

I finally got a computer so I thought I'd tempt your taste buds with some photos.

Angie and I were strolling along when we saw a cart with a fry pan sizzling on the back of it.

"What IS that stuff?" Angie implored me.

"Is that.... yep, it's bugs." I choked out.

"We should have some." Angie dared me with her eyes.

'You better believe it!" I rose to the challenge.

Here are the fruits of our adventurousness:

The Goods

Say Hello to my little friend

I'm really gonna do it!

PS His legs are covered with little spikes and he had a big spike on his butt that we had to pull out before we could eat them.

Look at him, just loungin'. He has no idea what is to come! (and neither did I)

Well, I don't have the eating picture because Angie and I knew we had to do it together. Much to my own chagrin, I actually spat out some of him. After I got pierced in the tongue by some part of his body I kinda' meant to spit out a little and maybe 40% of him went out. Oh well, at least I ate most of the little guy.

In our snack bag you may have also noticed grubs of different sizes. The big ones were gushy and kinda' mushed out into my mouth. They also tasted like dirt. Angie didn't eat hers, she spat it out. I finished mine!

There are also some skinny grubbies annd they were fried right through. Not too much to note. they just crunched a little and tasted kinda' fishy.

Welp, I hope you enjoyed your trip into the Thailand Snack Bag. join us next week for the Cambodian Dog Feast!

Thailand Video

Sat, 1 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT

We have now transitioned into our last month on the race, I am sad to finish up but I am excited to see all of my friends in America and I am so grateful for the ways the Lord has blessed me this year.

There are still members of my squad who are fundraising and need your help. If you have been blessed by our stories and amazing things God has done, please consider supporting any one of them:
Matt Peters (my teammate!), Patrice Deaton($2000), Jen Fodor ($700),
Angela Tibbo($600), and Rubie Palmer($300)
Please click on their name to visit their website to donate by way of the "Support Me"link on the left-hand side.

Thank you so much for all of your support along the way! We serve a RISEN KING!

This is an over look of my month in Thailand. We had an amazing time serving the bar girls in Pattaya city and seeing many of them come to know the Lord.

It Takes Courage

Sat, 1 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT

"We ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born with the Manifest Glory of God Within Us... As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -Nelson Mandela

"You cannot love a person from a false self. You cannot love another while you are still hiding. How can you lead them to freedom while you remain a captive?... It takes courage to live from the heart."

From Waking the Dead, John Eldridge pg. 88

I have heard many times this year that I am brave for leaving the world I knew and the people I love to serve the Lord. Deep in my heart I am not brave. If anything, I am ending this year broken. I don't have pictures to post or a video to show you of this, but please read on.

I posted a blog a while back called Throwin' Love Around and what a lesson that was. To let love free from the bondage of insecurity and past bitterness that I used as my lens for love. The realization that freedom comes from loving freely was only the beginning of the lesson.

The next step was far more difficult than I ever could have foreseen.

It Takes Courage Part 2

Sat, 1 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT

You can read Part 1 by clicking the link at the top of the page

To love abundantly may be the easy part, but to love sincerely requires a true humility of the heart.

I know that what I need most is to receive love and what I want most is to know that I am loved by the Lord of the universe. The easy part here is realizing that he tells me this every day. He is incessantly repeating it to me. And he also tells me that I am worthy to receive it. We all are.

In so many ways I spent my life (all 26 baby years of it) trying to earn things. Grades, respect, appreciation, friends... We live in a culture of working for what you want. This year has truly opened my lungs to breathe the deep refreshing breath of receiving the greatest gift there is without have to work for it, in truth I cannot.

Jesus Christ does not ask for a building, he asks for your heart. He does not condemn you for your sins, he died to free you from them. He does not condemn your behavior if you continue in the same sin, he forgives and keeps no record of wrongs. he does not ask you to wear a rosary or sacrifice a lamb, he was the lamb, once, for all. He shed his blood for the sins of the world. For people who did not believe in him then and still to this day do not believe in him.

What he asks of us is to Love the Lord with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength; and to love our neighbor as ourselves.

He asks for Love. The thing Jesus wants the most is for a outbreak of love to overcome the death, hatred, separationism, and lies that we live under every day. It is not an issue of religion is it an issue of the heart; of love. The one thing we cannot do falsely.

When we give a lame account of love are we not convicted of how paltry it seems? Are we not aware of the times when we lied love to someone else? Sincere love cannot be born from a false self.

It Takes Courage Part 3

Sat, 1 Nov 2008 00:00:00 GMT

You can read parts 1 and 2 by following the links at the top of this page.

"All prayer begins in the heart of the Father. Find out what is being done in heaven and pray for that on earth--get in agreement with the Father." From Hearing God by Peter Lord pg. 169

A cry for love is happening in heaven and it is what I pray for here on earth. It is not easy and it will take courage to love sincerely. It means your heart will feel more; more deeply and more ardently. it also means that the false self will have to be overcome which leads to brokenness.

I can tell you from experience, though, that I would never ever ever trade brokenness to go back to my old false self. I would choose humility through humiliation if it means I can love others more sincerely.

In the words of Rusty Jackson, our beloved squad leader, "we all came on this trip because we believed something extraordinary could happen in our lives."

And this, indeed, is what has happened. Praise you Lord!

Leaving Nam

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Well, i've been gone now for just about 10 months and learned a new lesson just this evening... man, they weren't kidding when they told us this trip would only be the beginning.

We have cared for orphaned babies and "orphaned" elderly. In a country that worships their ancestors, I was shocked to see emaciated elderly in the woman's home that we visit. There is a jewelry making project that works with elderly women as a way of encouraging them. We get to sit with them and chat while they make necklaces that a partner coffee shop sells. It's pretty cool, too, because all the money made goes back to the women's home. It was quite dehumanizing to see women in their 60s+ lying on cement beds that had drains in the middle for when they need to relieve themselves. They are attended to, but my heart broke to see these women forgotten by their families. The Lord stirred something new in my heart for the elderly. I pray that he shows me where to go with it in the states.

We also spent time in the University meeting students and inviting them to a coffee shop where we would meet and practice English. I loved this time for the students were fun to chat with and always asked us what movies we had been in. I really had to fight the urge to share my "extensive" film history!

On Saturday we'll board a bus to Cambodia leaving Viet Nam behind. I've met many amazing Christians here and attended some underground church meetings which was awesome. It is illegal to evangelize in Viet Nam so many groups meet secretly so that they can invite friends and non-Christians. It's awesome to see the heart for Viet Nam that our Christian translators have. They truly love their people and love to show us foreigners real Vietnamese life.

you can check out my other blog to see photos from the cerebral palsy schools we have been volunteering at if you have missed those. You can click here.

So, we will visit Angor Wat for a few days then ministry in Cambodia for two weeks then back to Bangkok for final debrief before coming home to the states!

What He's Done For Me

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT

"God is not unjust, he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. We want each of you to show the same diligence to the very end in order to make your hope sure. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised." Hebrews 6:10-12

This year really is about God's love for his people-- which includes me!

God loved me so much that he satisfied the desire of my heart to travel the world, not as a tourist but living in the poor areas and serving as a missionary.

And He loved his people in South America, Africa, India, and Asia so much that he sent a group of us to encourage them by his love and to share his love to those who have never heard. He has given us the energy to serve his people and will not forget what we have done for him.

I love to remember thinking out loud to my friend Esther, "I just have this deep desire to "Go." Sometimes it is so strong that I could just burst out in tears! But I don't want to go as a tourist...Is it possible to travel the world as a missionary? And I don't just want to visit. You can't really experience a culture unless you live there for at least a month and, you know, grocery shop... is it possible to travel for Jesus or am I just trying to glorify vacation?"

This is where it gets too cool for me to comprehend...

The Lord's desire is for the movement for his love to continue. He placed a vision in Seth Barnes (learn about who Seth is at his blogsite. The link is on the leftside menu of my webpage under resources. or www.sethbarnes.com) to create the World Race as a way to accomplish this. Then to fulfill Seth's vision, the Lord placed the same desire in my and hundreds of other adults very souls so that he could fulfill both sides of our desires. And he gives a unique vision to everyone. And just as he fulfilled this desire of my heart, so, too, he wants to lead you into the way to fulfill the desires of your heart. (maybe into the World Race?)

He provides the vision and the method. Everyone wins. How awesome is that?!

One Set of Footprints

Thu, 9 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT

The battle we are in right now is a sneaky one. Many of us are being coerced into believing we are tired, since being tired is a natural thing it seems the only answer is to give in. I thank the Lord for what He said through Caroline the other night while we were worshiping, though. She reminded us that this year is not about energy it is about Jesus Christ being our one love.

My baptism

We all came on this trip because of our love for Jesus Christ and that needs to be the reason we live each day fully alive; because Jesus is fully alive in us.

Recently the encouragement we have been giving eachother is to "press in" and "push on" -- which is great, and encouragement is necessary-- but Jesus himself told us that his burden is light. I have been in this mode of planting my feet and turning my shoulder to leverage this weight we are to "press in against" and I realized that satan must love that because if I really knew the truth I would know that thing I am trying to move with my own strength and endurance isn't even there. It's like I've been leaning at the base of a mountain trying to push it into the sea when it is by faith as small as a mustard seed that that happens.

I've begun to see the intimate expression of faith with Jesus as more like the footprints in the sand. We are walking with Jesus and when things get hard or rough, we don't plant our feet and lower our shoulder to brace ourselves--for it is then that he carries us.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary trials are producing for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:17

A Lesson In Righteousness

Wed, 8 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT

"...that I may...be found in Christ, not having a righteousness of my own...but righteousness that comes from God is by faith." Phil. 3:9

We all deem to obtain righteousness and I know that that led me to live under the law. Now there are some laws set forth by God, and I am not opposed to that, but it is the ones set up by man and society that I learned to love. You know, the ones that say that Christians never drink and they never mess up or do things that go against what they say like normal people sometimes do. I loved the Christian man-made law because it defines how to "get" righteousness.

The assumption is that by following the law we can choose righteousness for ourselves. The reality is that righteousness is by faith. for we are not righteous unto ourselves but the more intently we focus on the One who is righteous and put our energy into becoming like Him, the more he shines through us.

This is exactly why I should not boast of myself for "every good thing was first given to us" and in this same way, "It is by grace we have been saved through faith-and this not from ourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works that no man can boast." (Eph. 2:8-9)

For years I was self-righteous because I was upholding the law-but it is entirely too clear to ignore that the law is not what saves us or gives us righteousness. Only Christ, who is righteous in Himself, can offer us salvation and can be our righteousness. Amen for that because I sure messed some things up trying to be righteous in myself and judging others in the process.

"...know that a man is not justified by observing the law, but by faith in Jesus Christ. So we, too, have put our faith in Jesus Christ that we may be justified in Christ and not by observing the law, because by observing the law no one will be justified." Gal. 2:16

"The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Gal 2:20

"I died to the law so that I might LIVE for God." Gal 2:19 (emphasis added)

Ministry In Viet Nam and Photo Blog

Wed, 8 Oct 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Viet Nam. What can I say about you?

Already we've been having a good time telling eachother stories of "this one time, back when I was in Nam..."

Aside from that our situation here is interesting.

The first floor of our residence is a hallway of rooms rented out by the hour by a pimp for prostitution.

Our work is always changing. Some days we go to play with handicapped children, some days we go to hang out with college kids, some days we support an elderly home and their jewelry making project, and sometimes we go to a local hangout and meet people... everyday is different. It's interesting as well because while it is okay to be a Christian, evangelism is prohibited. Some of the places we have gone have spies and sometimes we meet strangers who practially interrogate us.

There aren't many computers around so I will do my best to keep you updated.

Please pray for me and some energy. I don't actually know how to receive it from the Lord, but I know that I need it. We only have 43 more days on the world race and I like too much to daydream of the future while at the same time have NO IDEA what I will be doing besides spending the holidays with my family.

Rather than take credit for his photos, I encourage you to visit Mark Strattmann's site here to see what we've seen: click here

And my teammate Matt Peters relates his experience of visiting these children in poignant detail: click here

THROWIN' LOVE AROUND (life-changing)

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Love.

I love you. Love ya! Love you Mom. I love my car. I love ice-cream. I love my cat. I love roses. Love you, Son. I love waffles. I love snow.
Love.
Luv.
Love.
Why are we always "throwin' love around"? When I say "I love you" I like for that person to know that I mean it.

I used to think that I would rather hear someone say, "I like you" because of how we throw love around. This, however, caused a problem.

In the bars. Where lots of people look for "love"

To just hear "I like you" means it is just as easy to switch moment by moment to "I hate you" or at least dislike you. Without the foundation of unconditional love, there is no basis to choose or prefer someone. It simply becomes moment by moment choice of I like what you are doing or I don't. There is no assurance of relationship. No guarantee that no matter what I do you will still choose me.

By reserving the phrase "I love you" I was actually withholding love. And at the same time building walls up against receiving love.
The thing I wanted most, to be loved, turned out to be the thing I built up the most defenses against.

I even told people on my team, "don't tell me you love me." To say that to someone is to practically thwart THEIR desire to offer me unconditional love. Unconditional meaning that they are offering it to me BEFORE I've done anything to warrant it; that it isn't coming as a result of something else.

Telling Ta and Kung how much Jesus loves them.

Why would anyone say no to uncondtional love?!

Somewhere along the way I got my priorities confused. i decided to spend my time throwin' around sarcasm, or jokes, or pride or self-serving comments. Of all the things I could and have spent my time throwin' around, why not start "throwin' love around"?
Why not stop reserving it and start sharing it?
Start throwin' love on people instead of hurt or pride or sarcasm. Start throwin' love without sonditions such that people feel like they are allowed to be who they are without worry that love will be taken from them.

It's about time I got it straight and started "throwin' love around."

Praise Jesus! Ta and Kung accepted Jesus into their hearts as their Lord!!!

To make you smile.

Bars, Dengue, and the Need For Love

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT

"Hey Sexy!"
"You come here. I give what you want!"

We have visited the bars a few times now and these are things that have been yelled to me a white woman, and man, my heart has never been more confused. The hurt for the girls mixed with anger for the guys mixed with hurt for the guys and desperation for the girls... I go back and forth 20 times a day.

But, as we read in 1 Cor 13:1-3 if we have not love, we are nothing.

Click here to read the entire bible passage on love.

I have had to pray for more love every day and ask if you would join me on this. It is hard to see how young some of the girls are and how good they are at their jobs.

Also, while we were here the US Navy blew through town and opened up a whole new place in my heart to deal with. I found myself asking, "Who ever told these guys, that this kind of behavior was okay?!" The way they swamped Walking Street (the street lined with bars full of girls) taking ladies away by the hand. They are OUR Navy. Why? But at the same time, we saw some of the Navy guys sitting on the sidewalks and a few of them openly admitted that they were just dropped off at Walking Street and didn't even want to be there. Oh the questions I could ask... (more on all this later) Again, though, I ask if you could join me on praying for more love as condemnation will never bring anyone to Christ. Especially if these men are as desparate for love and affection as they seem.

The harvest is ready.

Also, I have been praying for energy.

I really have none left.

THIS is what it feels like to depend completely on the Lord. For everything. Wow.
I feel like I fall asleep everytime I blink too long. We aren't being worked to the bone or anything either, I'm just tired. This year has been a process of everyday waking up and doing whatever anyone asks of us. Many days I love my life, some days I am blown away that I'm a missionary on the other side of the world, often I am perplexed at the Lord's love, and sometimes, I am just tired. Please pray for our entire squad as we continue pursuing the Lord and truly want to end the year strong. HE is our strength and I think many of us are learning that right now.

One of our teammates, Tammy, is on the better end of recovering from Dengue fever and we are ready for her to join us. Another gal on the squad, Jen, is also recovering from Dengue. They shared a room in India so we are pretty sure that is where they got it. Please pray for them and their return to ministry to be at 100%.

Also, pray for a ministry to emerge for the Ladyboys (young boys who prostitute themselves as women) as there aren't many groups catering to them specifically.
Thank you so much. I have much to share, so I hope this collage of thought to made sense.

With love,
meredith

Bar Video

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT

This video was made by 5 of my sisters, currently in Bangkok, doing the same kind of bar ministry that my team is doing in Pattaya, Thailand. It provides you with real footage and pictures into the world we are seeing.

Please continue to pray, and know that I appreciate you all, so much. I love you all for the support and encouragement you have not ceased giving. I pray God keeps touching each of you through these stories. And that He would continue to bless you and make you eternally grateful that you were born where you were, and not here, not in these places, in these conditions.

And that as you watch, that He would touch your heart, and spur you on into even further prayer and action.

As the girls have said in the video, "they are children, they are our sisters."

THANK YOU!! (Photo Blog)

Tue, 9 Sep 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Thank you dear Aunt and Uncle Tkacik, beloved Hundens, lovely Esther, my only brudders and their ladies, and of course Ma and Pa!

This blog's for you! Enjoy!!

Opening my birthday box...

Jelly Belly's my FAVIE!

Oooooh Emergency-C. How I need these

This is how I used to take photos with my brothers, so I decided to this picture with their cards... for memory's sake, of course.

I love Esther!

(awesome photo by the way)

Me with all the gifts you all blessed me with,

snacks, pens, a flashlight, cards...

and of course my mom sent "birthday cake" and candles. You didn't think they could all fit on one cupcake did you? 2 + 6 doesn't equal 8, it equals 26 years old!

Thank you all so much, I felt very loved by these cards and gifts and also by everyone who commented on my blog and sent me emails. Thank you all so much! It was like my birthday lasted for days. Oh, PS, I got my hair braided. It looks pretty cool, huh?

The Big Birthday Bash!

Sun, 31 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Well, to begin, I inaugurated myself to being a year older by slippig and falling on my way out of the bathroom, don't worry, no broken hips.

I found encouragement notes taped on the wall by the head of my bed and birthday notes taped all around the house.

The temp on my birthday was a wearisome 115 degrees with 100% humidity which zaps energy as you sit still. And sit still is what I did-to watch Home Alone, have some French Toast made by Michelle, then watched Miracle on 34^th Street. I needed all the snow I could get!

After that I had another aged moment of succumbing to the heat for an hour's nap. After that it was time to move.

We went to Costa Coffee, we being Matt Peters, Michelle, Angie, Patrice, and I, where I furnished us with dessert. India's sweets are not too sweet so I opted for the delectable chocolate muffin complete with huge gooey chocolate chunks and a scoop of vanilla.

Then it was back to the rickshaws for a trip to Fire 'N' Ice for some Indian food. I had Yellow Curry chicken, garlic cheese Naan, and yoghurt veggie sauce. To drink I had a White Fizz which was kinda' like a juicy virgin daquiri-very tasty. And it came complete with 2 umbrellas!

Later Patrice busted out my favorite indulgence called Appy Fizz, basdically sparkling apple juice, and the waitstaff provided wine glasses for a sparkling toast to yours truly.

Then Michelle surprised me with MORE dessert and they sang "Happy Birthday" to me as I basked in the glow of a #1 candle-2 and 6 weren't avaliable.

Our home was still as hot as ever which was impacted by us losing electricity, which happens quite frequently. So we gathered on the roof to catch a passing breeze.

On my way to bed I was lovingly doused, as was the whole wall behind me, with a large bowl of water from Eli-just wait, Eli, and watch your back!

All in all, I have Never been so hot on my birthday! But none-the-less it was an awesome day!

Nagaland

Sun, 31 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT

I love the Nagalese people. Each time we have visited one of the college students homes we have always been welcomed with warm smiles and even served snacks before we could leave. They are incredibly hospitable and friendly.

During these visits we usually talk a little about the Christian state of Nagaland that is found in the North East appendage of India, and mostly about life in Delhi. When we ask about trials they have found in the city the most common answer has had to do with discrimination.

Nagaland borders Myanmar and as such the people there look very Asia and not very Indian. There is not a student we have spoken with who hasn't mentioned that this causes them problems. It was so interesting to hear about how the people of India can feel like outsiders in a different state.

My favorite Naga woman we met was named Seno (said like Leno as in Jay Leno). To arrive at her home we needed to walk down some alleyways. At the very first corner we turned we had to stop abruptly in our tracks. Someone had just flushed their toilet and it was gushing out the end of some PVC 10 feet above us splattering to the ground-hello India!

Anyway, we got to her home and immediately felt comfortable. We talked for only about 10 minutes before she left to fix snacks. She came back with popcorn and told us she wanted to make us lunch. For about a 45 minutes she poked back into the room but was busy cooking. Soon enough she brought out a FEAST! BB-Qed chicken, an asian noodle dish, salad, and naan, and Appys to drink. We sat and ate and chatted with her about school and life and how she strives to serve God in both places for another hour after that. When we were done she then brought out fruit plates for each of us: papaya, apples, pears, pomegranite, and kiwi.

Suddenly the Lord began to speak to Patrice about Seno. She quickly began writing everything down. At the same time, the Lord was telling me that Seno is a woman of peace. When someone knows who the Lord is and who they are in the kingdom, the air around them is actually affected by their peace. They aren't striving to impress, only to serve.

What the Lord told me about Seno, who lives alone, is that her home is a place of peace. She wants so much to serve the Lord in her classes and future career, but the Lord impressed upon me that she can serve him now with her home. So many people in Delhi do not have peace in their homes, so her ministry there is to invite people into her hospitality ministry by sharing her home. She prays, reads the Word, and fasts in her home and it was so evident that the Holy Spirit resides there.

It's funny because we went to Seno's to minister to her, but in so many ways she ministered to us. We had an afternoon of rest and being served and in return we were able to pray for her and speak blessings over her and home. I think I love this stuff!

Door Decorating Contest

Thu, 28 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT

As a part of our CHRISTMAS CELEBRATION we had a door decorating contest.
We need YOU, (our friends!) to vote for the winner!
So here are the entries.

PLEASE VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE!

deadline for voting is: SUNDAY AUGUST 31

one vote per blog site!

have fun! :) hah.

door #1

door #2

door #3

door #4

and door #5

vote now! thanksssssss!

Used To Be Headhunters

Tue, 26 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT

While in India, I have chatted with those inflicted with leperosy, seen a Christian orphanage and heard how they are persecuted over land matters, heard the stories of and encouraged Burmese refugees, and spent time with Christian university students discussing what church really is. It has been a full month of opportunity and some needed days of rest.

The main ministry I have done is with a man named Eyiezo (eye-zoh). Every morning we work with him we take a rickshaw (half bike half carriage) to the Delhi Metro where we board and ride for just about 1 hour. Then we exit with the throngs of people pressing against every side as Indian folk don't really believe in queues or personal space. Then we take another rickshaw (man, they are everywhere!) and possibly a moto (a three-wheeled covered motorbike/car) to some obscure neighborhood. Here is where the ministry begins.

When we visit both Burmese refugees and college kids we usually spend sometime chatting about life where they are from and then how they find things in Delhi. If you are anything like me you had no idea that India has this separate little appendage off to the east (PS ignore that blue arrow!). Most of the people we have met are either from Nagaland or from Burma just over the border. As you might guess, they look very similar in features. Very Asian, not so much Indian. From this, most of the stories we have heard have been stories of racism.

Even though Nagaland is in India (it is the orange part on the appendage right above the purplish part on the borger), the college students we have met are not treated as members of this country. Most of them do not speak Hindi as they have tribal languages and a Mother tongue in Nagaland. On an interesting side note, Nagaland is 95% Christian, but it was not so until a Christian missionary came to them in the mid-1800s. Before that, they were headhunters! Anyway, we have met some interesting characters and have spent many hours in the Word with a down-hearted group of people. The Lord has given us many opportunities to encourage them and I look forward to relating some of these stories over the next week.

A Home Called Garbage

Sat, 23 Aug 2008 00:00:00 GMT

We are living next to a whole little community who lives and works in garbage. They go out and collect it, bring it home, bring some of it into their home, then spend their days sorting it to sell off recyclables. They have children who sit on piles of garbage to eat breakfast, and play on piles of gabage during the day as they don't appear to go to school. I didn't take pictures as they are always watching us and I didn't think it was polite. Their homes are maybe 12X12 carboard and metal shacks with garbage spilling out the front doors on to the ground which is made of garbage. I don't know how many families live there but there are at least 12 front doors. There are babies learning to walk and old men who spend hours in the sweltering Indian summer heat sorting dirty, grungy, smelly, money-making piles. It brings new meaning to the saying, "One man's trash is another's treasure."
The other day some of the kids who like to spend time looking into our kitchen poked a stick through one of our doors which is like a gate and stole paintbrushes from us. Some people were pretty p.o.-ed as none of us like to be stolen from. Then I looked back outside, across the alley, into their little garbage dump called home and realized that the stealing is not the issue.
How and why is there an entire people group across the entire vast world who live in garbage dumps? I saw it in Haiti, Guatemala, Peru, and now India, not to mention all the other countries I have not visited.

Read the book The New Friars for more insight into this issue.

Just something to think about, I suppose. I know it has caused me to.